Love's New Incarnation

Does the first person you give your heat to take the best part? You know...like in a buffet line, all the good stuff is gone by the time the last person gets to it. Is that how our heart looks to the person who finally ends up with it...like a pile of dried out mashed potatoes? I'm know I'm quoting about a million songs but honestly love is a funny thing! When I used to think about love...it wasn't the during part that I thought about, it was the aftermath. In the times I was left holding my heart I would re-imagine every situation, replay every fight, relive every night together untill it nearly killed me. I listened to so many sappy songs I thought I might dye my hair black and put on a pair of skinny jeans. Countless hours were devoted to updating my Itunes with every imagainable break-up song and then I would sit there with tearms streaming down my face. I know real attractive. It wasn't until recently that I was able to feel love in an actual, functioning, viable relationship. It didn't take a break-up to get my heart going, a mean word to get my tears flowing. For the first time in my entire life I feel love in the good times. Maybe Im not explaining this right...lets see...in my previous relationships the love I felt for the person was always the strongest when they they were walking out the door or getting on a plane. It took a loss to make me feel love. I was never able to feel love in the present moment. I was always scared of loosing it...scared of jinxing it. I was constanly holding my breath and waiting...Im not sure for what. Today I feel love in the moment...rolled-up in sheets and nothing else with the sun peaking through the window listening to him breath and not worrying if he is the one, if he is going anywhere. So to answer my first question...NO the person who ends up with your heart is not left with dired out mashed pototates instead I like to think they are left with the best parts, the parts no one else has gotten to, the parts you saved and you didn't even know why.