I'm not together but I'm getting there

Today was an important day. I finally fit back into my jeans from college. Yes I really am that vain. But honestly it is a big moment for me because I finally finally feel that I am coming back from someplace I didn't want to be. I am a firm believer that people's lives go through cycles. Times of plenty and times of want. These last two years have drained me. Don't get me wrong there have been great times. New friends and new experiences. But there have been a lot of growing pains too. Realizing that I can't always work my way towards the things I want... somethings are not meant to be had. Finding out that I am more fragile than I thought and understanding for perhaps the first time in my life that being alone is okay...more than okay, it can be wonderful.

After I broke up with Clinger I decided it was time take back myself. I started jogging, eating better, caring about myself again. I have been listening to MY music and spending MY time writing, reading and reflecting on all the things I love about myself and the things that need to be changed. I see myself as a work in progress...we all are. But for the first if a long long time I see the sun coming out and I feel like I am ready to be me again. To make new friends, have another adventure and trust myself enough to make the choices I need to make and shut the doors that need to be shut.

Although I was never a huge fan before I am really loving John Mayer's 'Continuum.' The songs are so beautiful. If you haven't, take the time to check it out.

Okay enough promos for Mr. Mayer.

My hope for all of you is that wherever you're at in life, take the time to stop and look around. If you're in a good place stop and enjoy the moment...less than idyllic time? Stop and embrace that as well. I think it's the hard times that teach us the most about ourselves. Maybe that's all bullshit but now that I am coming out to play again it seems plausible.

Stop this train John Mayer

No, I'm not colorblind I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
I don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing
Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I will never stop this train