Why?

Today as I was taking my hansom puppy around the neighborhood I looked down on the road and what did I see? I super sized tampon applicator. First off why would this be in someone's front yard and secondly how did I identify it as an applicator of the super variety? Well as to the first question I may never know the answer but if you know Sandy Town then you know this is not such an unusual sight. In fact it may have even been some type of yard decoration for all I know. The answer to the second question is that I am a female and as such I have had the sad privilege of using the super tampon. But why is it called super? There really is nothing super about having a period so heavy that you need to use a tampon, that according to statistics, would make some men jealous. I know what you are saying, "none of my men." But you know what I'm getting at. Anyhow don't you think it would be better if they renamed the offending object say the 'hell' tampon or 'shittiest day of the week tampon or even the ' don't talk to me, I am trying hard not to be a bitch and your chit-chat is making me want to slap a bitch' tampon.